


Parents' Night

by LKKG



Series: SNAFU [4]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: The Talk, killua knows how to hide a body, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:42:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25907533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LKKG/pseuds/LKKG
Summary: Parent teacher conferences would be better without PTA moms.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Series: SNAFU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880113
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78





	Parents' Night

**Author's Note:**

> This series is just random vignettes from an AU in which everything is exactly the same except in our world. Don't question when or where this is set.

Kurapika sighed as he pulled into the school parking lot. He'd only been to one before, but that was enough for him to know that he hated Parents' Night.

The parent-teacher conference part he didn't mind. He already knew exactly what he would hear about his boys; Gon was such a sweet boy and an enthusiastic learner, but wasn't he maybe just a bit slow? And Killua was such a bright boy, did well in all of his classes, but his behavioral issues...

He knew exactly what he'd hear, and it didn't bother him in the slightest.

No, what bothered him was the parents.

Yes, the school he and Leorio had chosen to send Gon and Killua to was considered a great one, still a public school, but with good funding and better than average teachers, but many of the parents seemed to think that this school was worth preening their feathers over. Last time, he'd seen enough to know what kind of parents came to these events: certainly there were ones like him who went just for the conference, but mostly it was used as a pageant stage for the PTA parents to boast about their child's awards from this or that or their wealth or whatever it was that these people felt they could brag about.

He'd come alone last semester simply because Leorio had had to work, but this time he did so out of choice. He was sure that his hot-headed husband would blow several fuses if he had come.

Kurapika parked, slid the platter that was his contribution to the potluck off the passengers seat, and got out. He headed over to the door and made himself a name tag before heading towards the banquet tables to deposit his tray.

He had hoped to just drop the food and make a run for a far, dark corner and avoid the brunt of the impact, but when he turned around and found himself face to face with one of the worst of the milling sharks, he quickly kissed that dream goodbye.

"Mrs. Paladinight! So glad you could make it! Will your husband be joining us tonight?"

Kurapika bit back a cringe at her inquiry and summoned up an award winningly polite smile. "Unfortunately not, he had to work late again."

The shark let out a pitying "hmm" and Kurapika had to dig is nails into his palm to keep from shaking.

He badly wanted to knock this women's head clean from her shoulders and had to force himself from thinking about all the ways he could do that with everything within reach.

"And your kids, Gon and Killua? How are they doing?"

"They are quite well, thank you."

She gave a half smirk, then gave a look of feigned confusion. "If your husband is working and you're here, where are your boys? My Jasp is at an overnight in the mountains."

Fake smile plastered in place, Kurapika replied, "they're with my sister, their aunt." Not that Melody was actually his sister, but she was family nonetheless.

The shark let out the same pitying hum. "It's so nice that you've both given them a lovely family. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for them before you two came around."

Kurapika bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. He'd hoped that between the taste of blood and the pain he would keep control of his temper, but he could feel his eyes shifting colour under his contacts.

This was why he hadn't let Leorio come. The first time, it had been worse. He'd practically been mobbed when people first figured out whose parent he was. He'd been stoned half to death with questions about the adoption process and what his boys' lives had been like before and how long they had been adopted for. He had barely managed to keep his cool against the insesent, insensitive questions, and he knew that Leorio wouldn't have tolerated even a second of it and would have lashed out in an instant. Kurapika hadn't wanted to expose his husband or anyone else to this negativity, which is why he'd come alone again.

He was about to respond when his phone rang, cutting through the tension and shocking Kurapika back into control.

"Excuse me. I need to take this." He pulled his phone out and made a beeline for the dark, distant corner he'd been trying to escape to before, then picked up the call without checking who was on the line. Anyone would be better than the shark.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mama."

A smile pulled up at Kurapika's lips, and he cradled the phone closer to his ear. "Killua," he said gratefully. His boys never failed to bring him to his senses. After a pause, he added, "is anything wrong?"

Killua laughed and Kurapika smiled. He'd worked hard to earn the right to cause that laugh. While Gon and his infectious enthusiasm had earned it instantly, Leorio and Kurapika had really had to work for it with as wary as Killua had been of them at first. Now whenever Kurapika heard that laugh he felt blessed.

"Nah," Killua said. "Aunt Melody and Gon are fighting about whether we should make lots of regular sized cookies or if we should make two big ones and layer them like a cake with frosting or something between them."

Kurapika laughed. "Definately the cake," he said.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. I'll try to save some, but, well, you know..."

Kurapika laughed again, then paused. "Thank you," he said. They both knew he wasn't talking about the dessert.

Killua was silent for a moment. Then he said, "was it that obvious?"

Kurapika said nothing.

"Whatever. Don't thank me."

Kurapika smiled. "Have fun."

"Don't kill anyone."

Kurapika paused for a moment. "I love you."

Killua was silent for a long moment. Kurapika knew he still wasn't used to hearing it from them all. "Yeah, you too I guess," Killua finally said before hanging up.

Kurapika stared at his phone for a moment, then held it to his chest.

What had he done to be blessed with such wonderful children? He certainly didn't feel worthy of this gift.

And what on earth had his life been like before them?

He was now serene. He didn't question why or how Killua had known to call him, but he was grateful regardless. That had been exactly what he'd needed to get through this PTA hell.

He took another breath, then made his way back to the main area of the room. He took a brief circle around the room trying to avoid the sharks and find the parents who were actually decent human beings. Neither Gon nor Killua really had made any close friends (the two of them seemed fine on their own), but there were kids they talked to with some frequency and Kurapika tried to find their parents. He did have a few short but pleasant conversations before he was at last called to a classroom.

The boys' teacher stood when he entered and they shook hands and exchanged greetings before sitting down and getting to buisness.

"Firstly, Mrs. Paladinight, you have two lovely children. I'm sure I said the same thing last semester, but it's true."

Kurapika smiled.

"They both have their troubles, which I'm sure you know, but they are great kids."

"Killua's attitude?" Kurapika asked.

The teacher laughed. "We can call it that. You said last term that he had a bit of a... rough past before he came here so I thought I'd pay extra attention to it."

Rough barely began to cover it but Kurapika had decided that not telling the teacher the details of Killua's former life and how he had come into Kurapika's care was probably a good decision. The teacher might respond differently to the boy if he knew that Killua could rip his still beating heart out of his chest in less than a second.

"Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I have actually seen quite an improvement in Killua's interactions with both other students and faculty. He's come a long way since the beginning of the year!"

"That's such a relief," Kurapika said. "Obviously he's more comfortable at home, and I've been seeing good progress with us, but I'm glad he's finally opening up more here. I was really concerned."

"We all were, I'm sure. I'll inform his teacher next year to keep an eye on him as well."

"Thank you. Is there anything else I should know?"

The teacher smiled. "Nothing bad, I assure you. Killua is doing extraordinarily well in his subjects this semester. I'm not sure what you said to him after our last meeting but it has done wonders for his achedemics."

"He was homeschooled before at a very quick pace and elevated level. He knows quite a lot, he just wasn't putting any effort into his classes. I just had to motivate him to actually try." That motivation had mostly been in the form of "if you do well in school you can tutor Gon and he'll be super proud of you," which had done the trick nicely.

"He certainly has been. Gon on the other hand... he was struggling in some of his classes last semester and earlier this semester, but he seems to have finally found his footing and his grades have been improving gradually. In the meantime, he is just the sweetest kid!"

"I can't argue with that," Kurapika said with a smile.

They carried on briefly, discussing more details on the boys' grades and performance in social situations at school. At last the teacher smiled and said, "well, I think that's it for tonight. Nothing else to discuss with such great kids as yours. Thank you for coming!"

"Thank you," Kurapika stood and they shook hands again before he left the room.

He made his way quickly out to his car and as soon as he was in he pulled out his phone and dialed.

"Hey," Killua said, picking up. "Need help disposing of the body? I'm better at making them then making them disappear, but I could probably figure something out."

Kurapika laughed, even knowing that it wasn't exactly a joke. For either of them. "No, thank you, though I was close before you called. Are you two about done with your cookie-cake?"

"Yeah. But they had to make another batch of frosting."

"Why?" Kurapika asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"The first batch disappeared out of the fridge."

Kurapika could practically see the smug and mischievous look on Killua's face. "I'm sure you have no idea how that possibly could have happened."

"Not a clue."

"Mmm-hmm. Anyway, Leorio gets off work in an hour. Do you too want to surprise him at the hospital?"

"Hey, Gon-"

Kurapika didn't hear the end of that sentence as Killua pulled the phone away from his ear, but Kurapika could hear Gon's excited voice quietly on the other end.

"Yeah, we want to come," Killua said, lifting the phone again. "But Melody says she gets to keep part of the cake."

"No problem. She can have your part," Kurapika said playfully. "Since you clearly don't need any more sweets tonight."

"Hey!" Killua said with laughter in his voice.

"Here's the deal, if you do all the dishes I'll let you have some."

"Fiiiiine!" Killua whined exageratedly. "See yah," he said before hanging up.

Kurapika put down his phone, put the car in gear and drove to Melody's appartment, taking the stairs three at a time. He knocked on the door, which flew open instantly and he found Gon flying through it at him. Kuapika barely caught him and nearly slammed against the wall behind him as Gon's momentum sent them both flying. He laughed and held Gon for a moment before they both stepped into Melody's apartment. Gon ran off into the kitchen and Kurapika went to greet his friend.

"Thank you, Melody, for always looking after them."

"Never a problem, Kurapika. You know I love them almost as much as you do."

"I'm sure you noticed that Killua is responsible for the missing frosting." Melody nodded. "Did he do the dishes?"

"He's just finishing them up now. How was the conference?"

Kurapika sighed. "Better. Only one person came after me this time. And the teacher is very impressed with both of them."

"Glad to hear it."

"Yeah. Another year or two and maybe I can bring Leorio with me."

Melody laughed. "Maybe."

Killua and Gon stepped out of the kitchen at last, Gon carrying a large platter with their creation on it. Kurapika went to take a look and showered praises on all of them for their excellent handiwork.

"Melody, does a fourth of this sound reasonable as your share?"

Melody nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"I got it!" Gon rushed back to the kitchen to cut it.

Kurapika looked at Killua and held his arms out. It had been almost a year since they had met but Kurapika still made a point of always allowing Killua space and choice, particularly when it came to physical affection. He knew that Killua trusted him and Killua hadn't rejected a hug from any of them in months, but Kurapika still liked to make sure Killua knew he had that freedom. He knew choice was something Killua hadn't had much when he was younger, so he went out of his way to provide it whenever possible.

Killua smiled and stepped readily into his embrace, matching Kurapika's tight grip. Kurapika ran a hand through his boy's white hair and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head. Then he loosened his grip, letting Killua choose when the embrace ended.

Killua pulled away only when Gon reemerged from the kitchen, and the three of them bid Melody farewell and headed back to the car. Kurapika found the cake dish thrust into his hands when Killua sprinted off suddenly, calling shotgun, Gon passing off the cake to better chase Killua down. Kurapika smiled and pulled out the clicker, unlocking the vehicle kn advance for whomever won this particular race, though he already had a decent idea of how it would end.

True to form, by the time Kurapika had reached the car and climbed into the driver's seat, both boys were a wriggling pile on the seat beside him, and he made a show of placing cake in what looked most like a lap and reaching across to drag the seat belt across the both of them. Was it legal? Absolutely not, but it was eight pm on a Saturday night and Kurapika was a damn good driver and he wanted to hear the giggles while he drove and didn't have the heart to seperate them.

He drove carefully to the hospital, and the kids were out of the vehicle the second he'd put the car in park, running off towards the elevator of the parking garage. Kurapika followed at a slightly slower pace, and when he reached the elevator, Gon was already holding the doors open for him. Once the three were in the confined space, Gon and Killua started another round of play fighting, which Kurapika knew he'd get roped into whether he wanted to or not, so he preemptively reached out and put them both in loose headlocks and showered the tops of their heads with kisses. Both boys complained, and Gon even had the audacity to claim that Killua had received more kisses than he had, but Kurapika knew that either boy could remove himself from his light hold should they choose to, and both boys knew he knew.

Once the doors had opened into the lobby, Kurapika released both boys with a final peck to their foreheads, and watched them run off and shout a quick hello to the receptionist who smiled and called after them that there was hot cocoa in the lounge if they wanted it. Kurapika approached the front desk and asked if his husband was in his office, and was informed that he was. He thanked the receptionist by name and then headed down the hall and up a flight of stairs. By the time he got there, the door to Leorio's office was thrown open, and Gon was standing on the back legs of Leorio's chair, arms around his neck and looking over his shoulder. Killua had managed to find a spot on top of a filling cabinet and had perched himself atop it. Leorio was fake grumbling about how much work he still had to do and about distractions, but his eyes betrayed the downset of his lips and no one in the room believed a word he said. Kurapika set his hands on his hips, assuming the position Melody had called "the ultimate mom stance" and gave a frown no more convincing than Leorio's. "Out," he said. "Your father and I need a moment alone."

Killua jumped off his perch and grabbed Gon's sleeve and they ran out the door. Kurapika heard over the sound of giggling, Killua saying "they're going to kiss! Gross!" as he dragged the other boy out of the room, and heard Gon say "it's not gross when we-" before they were out of earshot. Kurapika stared after them a moment, then mentally noted that perhaps "the talk" or at least a "talk" would be in order soon. Then he crossed the room into Leorio's open arms, and they did kiss.

"How was the conference?" Leorio asked, hands on Kurapika's hips as he settled his spouse between his knees so he could lean against Leorio's desk.

"It went well," Kurapika said as he took Leorio's hands and laced their fingers together in the space between them. "The teacher had nothing but good things to say about both of them."

"That's our boys."

"Mmhmm." Kurapika hummed in agreement, then leaned forward once more to place another kiss on his husband's lips. "How much longer do you need to stay?"

"I shouldn't need more than fifteen to twenty minutes."

"Can I help with anything?" Kurapika asked looking at the stacks of paper on the table.

Leorio shot him a look that bordered on apologetic. "Filing?"

"Okay," Kurapika said with a smile. "Do I need to go downstairs and grab my badge or can I just do it?"

"I think you're fine," Leorio said. "When was the last time anyone even asked for that damn thing?"

Kurapika thought for a moment. "Six months? A year?"

"See? You're fine."

The badge in question was his official volunteer badge. Kurapika had been given it after the first year Leorio had been working at this hospital. The staff had gotten tired of constantly playing go between for them when Leorio was in staff only areas, so they'd given him a badge and some minor training and certification so that he could legally work as a volunteer.

Kurapika kissed Leorio's forehead and stepped out from between his knees, taking the files when Leorio handed them to him.

They worked in silence until they both finished, then gathered up Leorio's things and went off to try to find the boys, who had no such volunteer badge but seemed to find ways to get into every nook and cranny they wanted to without causing any disturbances that got them in serious trouble.

"Oh, Leorio, we need to talk about something." Kurapika paused in the doorway. "I think... I think Gon and Killua might need... 'the talk'...you know? Are they old enough for that yet?"

Leorio froze. "No way. They don't need that yet!" Then he made a face. "Right? Right?"

Kurapika just shrugged when Leorio looked at him, eyes pleading. "I think they might."

"How would we even know? Gosh, they are almost thirteen now... oh my god...they might..."

"Sometimes I think Killua might have already had that talk, but I doubt Mito has ever talked to Gon about it... Is it our job? Should we ask her first?"

"I feel like that would make us bad parents. But also..." Leorio sighed and put his face in his hands. "I really, really don't want to be the one who has that conversation with them..."

Kurapika put his hand on Leorio's arm. "My love, you give that talk to at least one kid a month for work, what makes this any different?"

"They're my kids! I have to face them every day and clean their sheets and answer their questions if they eventually start dating!"

"We have to do all that anyway. Are you really only thinking about this now?"

"What do you mean? You're telling me you have before?"

"...we have two twelve year old boys. Of course I've thought about it."

Leorio groaned. "Okay fine, but not tonight. Give me a month to prepare mentally and then maybe I can-"

"What are you guys talking about?"

Kurapika and Leorio jumped as Killua spoke from down the hall.

"Oh!" Kurapika said, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice. "Hi, sweet pea. We were just going off to find you. Where's Gon?"

"In the lounge chatting up one of the nurses. I came to see how you were doing."

Kurapika swore he heard jealousy tinting Killua's voice, and he shot Leorio a significant look when Killua turned away. Leorio responded with confusion in return, and Kurapika sighed and gave up. He'd explain it later, since his husband was clearly as dense as ever.

"Guess we'll all head over," he said as he half ran to catch up with Killua, putting his arm loosely around the boy's shoulders. Leaning in he whispered, "he'll always like you best, you know," and smiled gently when Killua jumped slightly and shot him a startled glance.

"Shut up," Killua said softly, his pale skin flushing, but he leaned a little more into Kurapika as they walked back towards lounge.

Once they reached home later, they put away the cake for the next day and Leorio sent the boys to bed. They went giggling to their bedroom, but within ten minutes had quieted down, and Leorio and Kurapika retired to their room.

"What I was trying to tell you earlier," Kurapika said as he pulled on his pajamas, Leorio already lounging on the bed. "Is that I think the boys already have their sights on someone. That's why I think they need to be informed about all that."

"No way! Already? How do you know? Are they from school? Do you know?"

Kurapika stopped, midway through pulling on the oversized tee that he'd long ago stolen from Leorio to wear to bed. "You really haven't noticed?" He asked.

"Noticed what?"

Kurapika sighed. "Nevermind. I'm sure it'll be fine."

Leorio starred at him for a moment, then recognized that Kurapika was dropping the subject. "If you insist. Someday I'll get it out of you."

Kurapika rolled his eyes. "Or you could just use your damn eyes," he thought to himself. "They aren't exactly subtle about it."


End file.
